It’s Always You

What if your spiritual journey was not based merely upon a book, ancient or new… nor was it held together or given credence by the opinions of others (professing to be experts on the matter)?

What if you could go straight to the source… and discover for yourself whether or not there was a God of love, grace and mercy?

It sounds rather dangerous doesn’t it… to be allowed such a privilege… the freedom to investigate without ‘adult supervision’, to make these big decisions about the meaning of it all… on your own?

This seeking or questioning nature of mine has at times, I freely admit, led me into difficulties, especially with authority figures but without challenging, say, the very notion that there was no such thing as God… the strongly held ‘belief’ that intertwined my family and the artistic community into which I was born… well… I wonder what may have become of me?

My spirituality is shaped, not just by my atheist upbringing but also my first encounter with God, a kind of teenage ‘road to Damascus’ experience… on a leafy suburban street near my home in Sydney. This awakening of mine may have been a little different to some, for it was to a spiritual being rather than any religious faith or creed.  I had peeked behind the curtains of doubt and rationality and on discovering that this alternative universe was governed by a creator, an artisan… well, I opened the curtains a little wider and, with no one around to stop me… I stepped right in.  This one moment of madness was the beginning of an amazing journey not even Tolkien could have imagined.

And so, here I am today in this world of great confusion and chaos and, with my ears ringing from all the weighty arguments ‘in the name of God’ flying about social media (and the like)… I find myself, drifting further and further away from ‘the maddening crowd’, the noise and the clutter… to seek out the mysterious God, the one I first noticed in the stars, the wind, the trees and… once my eyes had become accustomed to his ways… everything in and around me.

“I hear the sound of the waves crashing to the shore.
You draw in me… into the deep
Deeper than I’ve been before”

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